Are You 'Shoulding' All Over Yourself?
In researching some blog ideas for today, I became a bit overwhelmed by all the 'shoulds' in the title lines. As an avid self-improvement seeker and lifelong student, I am continually looking for ways to be "better, stronger, faster"! Between you and I, it's the financial 'shoulds' that always depress me the most (just once I'd love to see an article that says, 'So you're not saving $2000 a month and you don't have big investments and you're in your 30's - hey, it's ok! You're doing great anyway!').
My amazing guy reminds me from time to time when I get on the 'should' train to "stop shoulding all over myself". The "shoulds" mean that we're not good enough, doing enough, learning enough, advancing enough, talented enough, saving enough, growing enough.... the list goes on and on. And design is no different. In fact, if I had a dollar for every time a client said, 'Well so and so says I 'should' do...' I could have retired in the Canaries already (maybe I 'should' start collecting so I can save that $2000 a month!).
Here's what happens when we 'should' all over ourselves - we subconsciously take all the positive aspects of our lives and what we're already doing and negate them entirely. Sure we 'should' eat more healthy meals; have you considered how much you're doing now compared to a year, two years, 10 years ago to create more healthy meals and snacks in your life? Maybe it's even simply that you've stopped eating a bowl of chips every time you come home from work (aka me). Celebrate those accomplishments!
So you 'should' have started saving when you were 22 and now you're way behind; what are you doing TODAY that is financially positive? Have you stopped buying your coffee out every day? Are you bringing lunch to work instead of picking something up on the go? Do you plan your groceries ahead so you're not wasting/throwing away food or buying pre-packaged food that nourishes less and costs more? Sure, these aren't putting $2000 a month into your savings account; I bet it's allowing you to do other things though, like take that vacation you've been dreaming about for years or finally paint the bathroom! Celebrate those steps!
Let's stop 'shoulding' all over ourselves and celebrate the amazing person we are today! Give yourself a hug for the positive habits or behaviours you are doing TODAY and remind yourself that you are a powerful, wonderful, and brilliant person! Happiness doesn't come from thinking of all the things we 'should' do or be; happiness comes from seeing the amazing things in our life right now and loving them wholly and fully.